MEN'S RULES FOR WOMEN ======================= 1. It is only common courtesy that you should leave the seat on the toilet UP when you are done. 2. If you are cooking a special dinner for a man, be sure to include something from each of the four major male food groups: Meat, Fried, Beer, and Curry. 3. Don't make him hold your purse in the mall. 4. The man is ALWAYS in charge of poking the campfire with a stick and/or tending the grill. 5. Any attempt by a man to prepare food, no matter how feeble (ie. Microwaving a burrito, fixing Spaghetti, etc.) should be met with roughly the same degree of praise a parent might shower upon their infant when it walks for the first time. 6. Those male models with perfect bodies are all gay. Accept it. 7. He heard you the first time. 8. You know, YOU can ask HIM out too... Let's spread the rejection around a little. 9. If you truly want honesty, don't ask questions you don't really want the answer to. 10. Of COURSE he wants another beer. 11. If he has to sit through "Legends of the Fall", you have to sit through the "Die Hard Trilogy". 12. Do not question a man's innate navigational abilities by suggesting he stop for directions. 13. He was not looking at that other girl. 14. He is the funniest, strongest, best-looking, most successful man you have ever met. 15. Dirty laundry comes in several categories: Looks fine/smells fine, Looks fine/smells bad, Looks dirty/smells fine. Unless you intend to wash it, do not try to disrupt piles organized in this manner. 16. Yes, Sharon Stone/Pamela Anderson/Cindy Crawford is prettier than you. Just like Brad Pitt/Antonio Banderas/Keanu Reeves is better looking than him. But since neither one of you is going to be dating any of these people, love the one you're with. 18. His (fill in appropriate selections:) bald spot/beer gut/impossibly thick glasses is cute. 19. Don't hog the covers. 20. He does not just want to be friends.