SEMINARS FOR MEN AND WOMEN Sign up now for Fall Classes! ------------------------------------------------------------------ SEMINARS FOR MALES These courses will be prepared and presented by females. Combating Stupidity You, too, can do housework PMS -- Learn when to keep your mouth shut. How to fill an ice tray We do not want sleazy underthings for Christmas -- Give us money Understanding the female response to your coming in drunk at 4:00am Wonderful laundry techniques (formerly titled "Don't wash my silks") Parenting -- No, it doesn't end with conception Get a life -- learn to cook How not to act like an asshole when you're obviously wrong Spelling -- Even you can get it right Understanding your financial incompetence You -- The Weaker Sex Reasons to give flowers How to stay awake after sex Why it is unacceptable to relieve yourself anywhere but the bathroom Garbage -- Getting it to the curb You can fall asleep without "it" if you really try The morning dilemma if "It's" awake. Take a shower I'll wear it if I damn well please How to put the toilet lid down (formerly "No, it's not a bidet") "The weekend" and "sports" are not synonyms Give me a break! Why we know your excuses are bullshit How to go shopping with your mate and not get lost The remote control -- Overcoming your dependency Romanticism - Ideas other than sex Helpful postural hints for couch potatoes Mother-in-laws -- They are people, too Male bonding -- Leaving your friends at home You, too, can be a designated driver Seeing the true you (formerly "No, you don't look like Mel Gibson, especially when naked!") Changing your underwear -- It really works The Attainable Goal -- Omitting "TITS" from your vocabulary Fluffing the blankets after flatulating is NOT necessary Techniques for calling home ------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------- SEMINARS FOR WOMEN These courses will be prepared and presented by males. "Are you ready to leave?" -- Definition of the word "yes" Appropriate rhetorical questions (Formerly "Honey, do I look fat?") Elementary Map Reading Crying and law enforcement Advanced Math Seminar -- Program your VCR You can go shopping for less than 4 hours Gaining five pounds vs. the end of the world: a study in contrast The Seven-Outfit Week PMS -- It's YOUR Problem, Not Mine (was: It's Happened Monthly Since Puberty -- Deal With It) Driving I: Getting past automatic transmission Driving II: The meaning of blinking red lights Driving III: Approximating a constant speed Driving IV: Makeup and Driving--It's As Simple As Oil and Water The Super Bowl: Not a Game--A Sacrament Telephone Translations (was: "Me too" equals "I Love You") How to Earn Your Own Money Gift-giving Fundamentals (was: Fabric Bad, Electronics/Tools Good) Putting the Seat Down By Yourself: Potential Energy is on Your Side Know When to Say When: The Limits of Makeup Beyond "Clean and Dirty": The Nuances of Wearable Laundry We forget birthdays, you forget sports stats: LET'S LET IT DROP MYOB: Proper response to other couple's public arguments Yes, You Can Buy Condoms (was: WE learned to deal with the embarrassment) Joys of the Remote Control: Reaping the Benefits of 80+ Channels What Goes Around Comes Around--Why His Credit Card is Not a Toy The Penis: His Best Friend Can Be Yours His Poker Games: Deal Yourself Out Commitment Schmittment (was: Wedlock Schmedlock) "To Honor and Obey:" Remembering the small print above "I Do" Why Your Mother Is Unwelcome In The House Your Mate: Selfish Bastard, or Victimized Sensitive Man-child Healing his Father Wound by Expressing the Latent Wild Man Within?